Curses

This photo was taken by my brother Michael Vidoli, in Sayulita, Mexico about three weeks after my husband left. ⁣

We ended up there because on one of many occasions where I sobbed to my dear friend about how scared I was and how I could not make sense of what had happened, she suggested I plan a trip - something tangible for the present - something to get me out of my head. ⁣

Always my go-to. Ocean. Waves. ⁣

On the way to Mexico, I was standing in the airport with my mom and kids. Severely hung over - the wine consumption of a recently left woman can be heavy. I stood in there waiting to board the plane and considered my life over. I had zero financial options, lived 3000 miles away from family, felt as old as a 90 year old grandma, and believed wholeheartedly that no one would ever love me again. ⁣

It would be a few months from this trip where I would start to get a glimpse of the immense gifts I had received. ⁣

It is not extraordinary to experience divorce or to be a single parent. The reason it is for me, is because it was the first time in my life I made a choice not to be the victim of circumstance. ⁣

The past couple years, I have been putting the pieces of my life together - not back together - but together, you know, to make something better. ⁣

I sold the home my children were born in, moved to a new town, and took a leap into starting my own business. In short - it has been scary as fuck. ⁣

For a long time it felt like this story was my curse. Come to find out, it’s my super power. Seeing this picture again, offers me a gentle nudge to kindly regard the contrast. The fuel to my flame comes in the form of this woman - forcing smile, drowning in fear, unaware of her immense power. By going through this experience, I discovered that I and I alone have the power to create the life I want. And so that’s what I’m doing. And I’m never ever going to give up.